I put my four-year-old twins back into nighttime diapers this week. I feel like a total Mommy failure. I switched them over to diapers on the day they turned three — cold turkey. We did some of the methods from Toilet Training In Less than a Day, but other than that we were all good. Except for night time wetting. For the last year and a half, I have been getting up at least once a night to change sheets, change pants and comfort a half-awake little boy. Not fun. Finally, I said “Enough is enough. We are getting you GoodNight Underpants. Because I need a Good Night of sleep!” And we went to Target.
Honestly, I kept thinking that if I never caved, they would eventually stop having accidents because they both hate it so much. Not so. I am pretty sure 1.5 years is a long enough test run on this. I’m tired. I’m worn out on washing bedding, smelly clothes baskets, and smelly boys. I’m ready for a break! And in spite of the words of my doctor “They should have grown out of that by now.” I am sticking with this new routine. I have finally slept through the night for five nights in a row!
Here’s the thing. I used to be one of those people without kids who stood in the grocery store pointing fingers. “If only they never gave in”, I’d say. “That child would stop throwing fits at the checkout.” And then I had a little boy who never stopped throwing fits even though I never, ever, ever gave in and bought him what he wanted. It took him over a year to grow out of that phase. Was I supposed to stop grocery shopping? I don’t think so. Did I get plenty of pointing fingers? Yes.
Once I had kids, I would say things like this: “If only you’d take away her diapers she would potty train much faster.” Ahem. Until I finally had two little boys who still can’t be night-time trained. Even after no diapers for over a year.
So now, instead of judging others for imagined failures, I am judging myself for the very same thing! You see, up until this point you thought this article was about judging other people. It’s not. At least not entirely. You drew conclusions about where I was going with my words too quickly.
Mostly, I want you to stop judging yourself.
You are human Mama. And the worst part is — so are your kids. They got it from you. Life here on earth is not going to be perfect. You will have bad days, rough weeks, and maybe even a little boy or two who can’t hold his pee all night. That’s okay!
Life on earth can never be perfect. The most important thing to focus on is not your own lacking. Focus on Jesus! Focus on relationships! At the last day, those are the only two things that will matter, and the only two things you can take with you. Those wet sheets? They are staying here to be burned up in the fire when God creates a new Heaven and a new Earth.