Yes, married couples with children should go out on dates. The purpose of dating as a married couple is to spend time one-on-one, without interruption, keeping an interest in each other and in each other’s lives and staying friends even as you jointly run your home.
We all know that as married couples, running this way and that and serving the interests of the family, sometimes we don’t even know what the other person is doing. Does your husband or wife have a new hobby you know nothing about? Or a new fettish for certain kinds of clothing that surprises you? What about needs – does your spouse have any deep-seated needs that are not being met?
Take the time to get away together and just enjoy being friends and lovers. That’s what keeps a marriage going after kids and family management are no longer a concern.
Most of us are also aware that there are other meanings for the word date. One is that it is the name of a fruit. A cook might add chopped dates to a breakfast bread. Yet another use for the word date is to define any one day on a calendar, as in month-day-year.
5 year old: “Mommy, what is that food on the counter?”
Mommy: ” They’re dates. Daddy brought home dates from the store.”
5 year old: Confused look. Smirk. “No, Mommy, it’s a food. A FOOD.”
Mommy: {laughter} “Yes, it really is a food. You can ask Daddy to let you try one.”
It took a moment or two of convincing, but my daughter now has a vague understanding of what the food called a “date” is like. Previous to this exchange, the only “peg” she had on which to hang her knowledge of the word was in watching one night each week when Mommy and Daddy go out together and leave all the kids at home with big brother.
I love that she totally got that first! It means we have done something right. Our daughter will know, when she grows up and marries, that a mommy and daddy (husband and wife) should date. Fun, dreams, laughter, and alone time should not end just because a couple gets married or when children enter the family.
Do your kids know this? If not, do something different beginning today, so they will grow up understanding that dating your spouse is a very important part of marriage!
Besides helping you stay connected and continue growing as friends, dating helps your kids too! My husband and I have been shocked to realize that our kids LOVE date night. My little boys get excited to have a sibling babysit, and my teenage son goes out of his way to protect date night when Taekwondo tries to interfere. The reason: when kids see Mom and Dad dating, it gives them a sense of security.
[…] few hours connecting with your spouse away from the kids becomes an expensive proposition! However, keeping that date night resolution should be a priority in your marriage – it helps us remember what its like to be a couple and […]