Parenting an Intense Child

Do you have an intense child? I know some of you are nodding your head in agreement, some quite vigorously. If you are wondering if you have an intense child, you probably don’t.

Intensity looks different for every child. This post is not about addressing why your child is intense, as the reasons can be many. It is about choosing how we respond. I don’t always make the right choice, but here are five things I remind myself.

God does not make mistakes!

Your child is who God created her to be.

Psalm 139:13 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”

Rejoice in this wonderful creation. Even when it is challenging, you have so many reasons to be thankful for your child and her intensity, such as the amazing stories she can create and the passion with which she loves life. Thank God for each of those reasons. Share some of them with your child. They may provide the encouragement your child needs at just the right moment.

Sometimes she probably wonders if God made a mistake when forming her.

Have faith and trust God

God knows the plans He has for your child.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Trust that God is using the current circumstances to prepare you and your child for what lies ahead. Trust that God is always watching over you and your child.

Psalm 91:11 says, “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

God’s plans are perfect. We are required to have faith and trust in those plans. It is not always clear to us what His plans are and sometimes we will never know, but we can trust that he will bring glory to himself if we trust.

Find support

Having an intense child can be especially tiring. Ask God to send friends and family who can give you a much-needed break. Always being “on” and ready to handle the next situation takes its toll on you. Allow others to pour the love of God into you and your child by giving you rest so you can be the parent God has called you to be.

Remember that God and Jesus understand what you are going through

I would imagine that Jesus was the ultimate intense child, so God knows what it is like to be the parent of an intense child. Since we were created in His image, He knows the feelings we have. Jesus was fully human so he knows all the fears, frustrations, and exhaustion that we feel. He knows the confusion, vivid imaginations, and frustrations your child feels. Take comfort in knowing that someone else knows how you feel. You are not alone.

Take a deep breath and keep moving forward

Choose to focus on God’s greatness. In the heat of the moment it is easy to get caught up in the fear of the unknown and “what if.” The “what if” can be our greatest enemy, even more than the actual situation. Choose to stay present in the moment before you. It is the only one you can impact right now. Stay strong, for all things are possible with God!

It is possible to live with joy even in the midst of intensity. In fact, we have experienced some of the most intense joys from our intense children. God does not make mistakes. Intensity can be a blessing, but we have to choose to see the blessing.

How do you deal with parenting an intense child?